about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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