I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He felt like a one man threesome
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
