How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
