Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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