Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
