I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
