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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
