Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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