Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
