yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
