He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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