What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
