I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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