Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
