oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
