at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
