i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
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