Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
