...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
