It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I queefed so loud it echoed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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