Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
