This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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