My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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