he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
