His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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