Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
