Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
