so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
