so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
