Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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