Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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