I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
