please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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