Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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