im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
