she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
