SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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