every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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