yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
