Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
