i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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