you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
