What a fucking waste of an outfit
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
