You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
