I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
