I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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