Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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