No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
