He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
