So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
