You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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