we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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