Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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