i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
